|First post, yay.
||[Jan. 27th, 2005|09:22 pm]
the real time strategy
|[||the beat i live by
|||||Scarling - Baby Dracula||]|
Earlier this week one of my teachers started asking me about my home life. About my parents, siblings, who I live with, and about my past. I thought it was sort of wierd, but I answered truthfully anyways. I told her my parents had me when they were young and split up. My father left the country, and I was left with my mom.
I moved around a lot between family members (alcoholic aunts, sexually abusive cousins, verbally abusive grandmothers, etc) because my mom couldn't take care of me and my sister because of her drug addiction, I didn't understand why I had to leave all the time so it really hurt me.
Anyways, after going through all that, when I was 13 I spent 2 years in The Dominican Republic to meet my dad. He got married and had two other kids so he has his own life now and I guess I sort of intrude on that. The two years I spent there, I lived with my grandparents and I was really happy, I had made a lot of real friends and I had my first love so when I had to leave to Puerto Rico (where I'm currently living) I was distraught. All I did was lay in bed all day and cry. I didn't want to do anything, I didn't eat, or go out or anything until I just decided to get over it. Which I never really did.
Now, I've been here almost 2 years and I haven't made a single friend, I don't talk or mingle with anyone in school because I know I'll move more sooner than later and I don't want to go through that again. In the 4 years I've been away from my mother she's never called even though I've always made it possible for her to call. The only information I get on her is from my Aunt, who calls to tell me my mothers drug problem has worsened and/or she's in the hospital because her boyfriend hits her. I really hate my 'mother', and the next phone call I want is the authorities telling me she's finally dead.
After I told all this to my teacher she suggested that I go to therapy. I'm not sure, I feel fine and I only get my little 'break downs' every now and then. Any opinions?