||[Jan. 27th, 2005|07:22 pm]
the real time strategy
|[||the beat i live by
Well I said I'd update so here I am...
Okay so there is this girl that is really just pissing me off now...let's just call her Leah. Well, from 5th to 6th grade, Leah and I were the best of friends and would IM, call, and e-mail each other nearly every day. We would do stuff together so much, and we felt like sisters. I took her to see a concert, I took her to a Barnes and Noble midnight party for Harry Potter, we had so many sleepovers, and birthday parties, and basically just spent as much time as we could together. Then that's when 7th grade came around...
Leah started hanging out with this other girl, and gradually, the phone calls stopped, the IMS were less frequent, adn we didn't hang out as much. I was devastated because I still considered her my best friend, although I knew I wasn't her best friend anymore. I tried calling her, but when I did, I would always hang up after awhile, feeling depressed because she sounded so bored while talking to me, and I could hear her typing to her friends online in the background. Everytime I'd call her, it would be like this, and sometimes we'd go for about a minute and a half silent. It was horrible. She never called me and I hated talking to her on the phone, so I just stopped calling her. We had so many fights this year, and she claimed I made her cry in school (she did cry) and pretty much, everyone avoided me and seemed to hate me. She has this kind of power over everyone else, and if I wasn't friends with Leah, and I was angry with her, the whole world would be angry with me. Leah made fun of the way I walked, and the purse I had, and she would always call me stupid. She brung down my self-esteem so much, I was depressed almost every day. She would comment with a bored "cool" everytime I tried to tell ehr something exciting, or showed her a sketch I made. (and according to my other friends, I draw extremely well)Leah made me feel like shit so much, I started writing in a journal, to try and let go all of my emotions onto pieces of paper. The journal filled up so fast and I found that I loved to keep journals, because I could say what I truly felt.
In the summer after 7th grade, Leah and I got into small arguments as she drifted further away from me. I did all that I could to keep our friendship alive but she never seemed interested. She was happy with her new friends, and her "new life" Now, in 8th grade, it seems things have gotten worst. Today, I have not spoken ONE WORD to her today in school, and she has not said one word back to me. She now has a boyfriend, and even her other friends are starting to realize her true self. She is very selfish, and loves to be dramatic, and have people pity her. She always tries to make her life seem so devastating when she has a pretty good life. She never talks to me anymore...not even on AIM. I have imed her a few times but she barely replies. I ask her how she is, she says "fine" and doesn't even ask me the same question back. She loves to talk about her boyfriend nonstop and how they have made ou on his bed in the dark. She has changed so much from the girl I knew in 5th grade. I am tired of trying to constantly reach her, and strengthen our friendship because she never seems interested. She is very cold to me and I am sick of it. I want to fight with ehr (verbally) just to show her everything I feel because she doesn't know..I don't tell her because she always blows me off with a "You're too sensitive, geez." But I don't want to argue with her, because then she makes my days living hell...with talking about me loud enough so I cna know she is talkign about me, and trying to get people to not talk to me. I'm just sick of it all and I don't knwo what to do. Please help. She's caused me so much pain.